Wiretaps

You’ve had those moments: the kind of moments when you are idly chatting and someone makes a remark that causes everyone to drop their forks and roll around the floor laughing hysterically.

We’ve had many of those moments and not all of them are caught on tape. So, here we’ve listed some of our favorite moments during our many performances. You won’t get them all, but for those of you who were there, you know why it brings a smile to your face.


Agent Collateral Damage & Agent Danuuc – Feb. 11, 20011 (The Rickshaw Conundrum during ‘Excuses’)

Agent Danuuc: Your wife, from Beijing, she was *ticked* off!

Agent Collateral Damage:Yeah! Cuz’ she doesn’t like me riding a rickshaw!

Agent Danuuc: Was it any “old” rickshaw? Was it in “style”? Cuz this is the Pope’s funeral!

Agent Collateral Damage: Listen! Michael Jackson owed me a favor!

Agent Collateral Damage & Agent Danuuc – Aug. 7, 2009- (Turkish Bath during ‘Change’)

Agent Collateral Damage: “No, you look just FINE to me.”

Agent Danuuc: “Yorgi has not been in Turkish Bath THAT long.”

Agent Collateral Damage – Nov. 13, 2008 – (describing Dolly Pardon during ‘Interrogation’)

“They’re like a couple of bald-headed little boys wrestling under a blanket!”

Agent Butters – Sept. 23, 2005 – (caring for elderly at nursing home during ‘Change’)

“I wrote it in large font… CHANGE I wrote it in Sanskrit …CHANGE I wrote your name on a Post-It-Note backwards and stuck it onto your forehead… so, look at it in the mirror Gramps!”

Agent Danuuc – April 22, 2005 – (as a lounge singer on the Titanic during ‘Party Quirks’)

“I need ice in my drink! Why is there no ice around when you need it!”

Agent Danuuc / Agent Butters – Jan. 25, 2005 – (during ‘Double Endowment’)

Danuuc: So, what exactly was the last thing you stuck in there?
Butters: Toast!
Danuuc: How do you stick toast in a toaster?! Toast is what comes OUT of a toaster! You stick bread in a toaster!

Agent Mojo – Nov. 16, 2004 – (as Forest Gump in ‘Good, Bad, Worse’)

“…life is like a box of chocolates. So, I hit him.”

Agent Butters – Oct. 1, 2004 – (attempting to retrieve sunken submarine outside Chicago’s Museum of Science & Industry during ‘Repair Shop’)

“Did you try kicking it?”

Agent Satyrboy / Collateral Damage – May 14, 2004 – (in a vain attempt to keep the performance a ‘family show’…)

“Dear Mr. Peterka: I took great offence to your last performance. Many of my friends are ‘fairies’ and…”

Agent Butters – March 26, 2004 – (to audience member during Chain Murder)

Daryl: How do you say ‘Try again’ in jibberish?
Agent Butter: How do you say ‘FOCUS?’

Agent Danuuc – 2003 – (said during ‘Interrogation’ to a confused Agent Krypto)

“It’s THIN and its made of WHEAT!”

Agent Satyrboy – Dec. 5, 2003 – (sung opera style)

“I have a sling-shot that I used on Mom.”

Agent Danuuc – Jan. 9, 2004 (with thick Austrian accent)

“It could be a toomah.”

Agent Collateral Damage – 2002 (Spaghetti Western set inside a meat-packing plant)

“Hmmm…I think something got loose.”

About the Author

Father of Jared and Haley, Master of Entropy, Agent Collateral Damage of Comics In Action, member of Riff Raff Theater, Independent Web Developer and an avid B&W photographer.