Agent Sapien

AGENT NAME: Sapien

AKA: Agent Sapien, Agent Homo-Sapien, Sir Ken Barrister Esquire the Third, Hair Machine 5000, Poet Laureate Ken.

AGE: ?

SEX: he he he… giggle squeal!

QUOTE: Dammit Butters those aren’t pillows

SPECIAL SKILLS: Mobile dog grooming, Able to wear white after labor day. Plays a mean chopsticks on the key-tar.

MODUL OPERANDI: Uses cunning wit and charm to con encyclopedia salesman into giving him the entire Britannica collection minus the letter Q.

BACKGROUND: Ken was spotted in an Off-Broadway production of “Cats” in western-Iowa, where he played “Calico Cat #4″… he was the sole member of the cast. Armed with a functional neck-tie and the knowledge of “Do Good Things & Good Things Will Happen To You,” ken decided to join the Peace Corps. Stationed in New York and tasked with teaching inner-city youth’s how to perform a good Perm, “Divine Providence” (or the chemicals from 1000 Perm’s) interceded. Ken realized he belonged on stage. It was time to return to Iowa and make his stage-presence known! Jumping on-stage at the first play he found, the Hamlet actors were shocked for part of an hour… and then called the police. While serving his community service for “disorderly conduct”, picking up trash along I-380, FATE stuck again… only, this time in for form of a haphazardly tossed can from a passing motorist. Impressed with Ken’s ability to take a Mountain Dew can at 80MPH, Agent Butters helped Ken to his feet and offered him a role as an Improvisational Artist for Comics In Action. The rest is history.

LAST KNOWN LOCATION: Protesting the Lord of The Dance because, and I quote, “Their feet are moving too fast. It has to be the work of demons.”